As much as we want to be good parents we all make mistakes. We all have moments where we feel ashamed of how we acted. Having a conversation with a child who is old enough can help but what if you can't have the conversation?
What if they are too young to understand?
What if they are asleep?
What if trying to talk about it is making it worse?
Try child whispering. It sounds strange but it works.
You sneak tippy toe into your child's room while they are asleep. You stand near their bed, close enough where you can see them. You put your hands on your heart (not totally necessary, but will get you into a a heart-felt feeling if you aren't already there) and you speak, softly, whisperingly, sweet words like:
"I'm so sorry. I love you. I wish I had done things differently, but I was frustrated. I want you to know how much I care. You mean so much to me. When you wake up, I want you to feel amazing. I want you to feel loved. I want you to feel connected. I want you to feel like the world is a beautiful place. You are adored."
Whisper until you feel peace. Whisper until you have tears streaming down your face if needed. Whisper until you are done, in whatever way that looks and feels for you. Then sneak out.
Don't wake them up!
Go to bed and wake up to the miracle of morning. You will be amazed.
HOW we think about our children matters. They can sense it.
How at peace we are matters as well. They can sense that too.
Things will be hard sometimes. Forgive yourself. Be kind to yourself. Keep doing your best. And when you can, as often as you can, make things right.
This tool can help.
It's like personal growth and stuff.